Come on in...I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in...

9:26pm: it came true: my horoscope and my dream.
incorrect grammar^

today was pretty good, but i have lots of work due tomorrow. school went fast (can you believe it?) and then i went to about 20 minutes of gsa. and it was the best time ive had in ages. i havent been able to go to meetings a cause de seussical. but it was amazing...its crazy how life does that. you expect something different than you get: over the summer i missed gsa more than i thought, however, i miss st anne as much as i thought i would. and i miss my old keyboard with its volume controls and its cd eject button (twas attacked by the demon diet cherry vanilla doctor pepper).its wierd seeing new people in gsa: wierd but awesome. grin grin giggle.

they say breezes are warm there
and people are kind

ive had so much trouble finding my way there
when i get close it disappears
if we can get there we're gonna stay there
if it takes us miles
if it takes us years

7:33pm: you're so suave that you piss me off.
limited time offer: image-free update!!! wooo wooo oohhh aaahhh

fall jam like in 10 days. i am going to puke/scream for joy. or jam. oooh im clever.

im so so so psyched for gsa dance on friday. just in cases (love actually reference? anyone? anyone?) you didn't pick up, im going as glinda, and my dress is amazing. im going to party like the sun don't shine. wait, what?

i can't wait to grow up because when antoine gets to be a rich and famous fashion designer, i can say i went to school with him and he was my friend and i rode on his motorcycle.

all you need is love. love is all you need.
love, love, love
love, love, love

9:45pm:

^me

8:28pm: its.so.true.
<td> <table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000">

Your darkest secret is:	You cried during Finding Nemo
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

</td>
</table>


graaaaahhh
guac???
faire
du
babysitting?

11:15pm: What matters to me? what is really important?

when we are born, we are given a need inside. all humans need something. we are constantly needy. "we understand our need through the needs of our children" <-- one person's opinion, not mine. are we given this need in our brains (biologicaly) so we "make progress" in life?

im tired. im tired of listening to myself all day long. can i borrow your brain for a few decades? can i borrow your life for a few decades?

i don't feel very terrific.

10:44pm: according to www.colorquiz.com, my desired objective is:

I wish to find my stimulation in a voluptuous atmosphere of sensuous luxury.

is it sexual? hmm...

it was pretty astounding the results they had. pretty accurate just from picking colors.


tomorrow is monday. tomorrow is monday. then tuesday, then wednesday, then thursday, then friday. euch.

5:57pm: FRANZ FERDINAND GAAAHH!! i have macaroni and cheese in my stomach and music in my heart! Lets go to a concert!

5:27pm: something happened to MY livejournal.
fabulous/amazing weekend. went to visit my brother!!!! learned that he and carmen were NOT dating, and i was slightly disappointed. i met so many new people and heard two a capella groups perform. i can not WAIT for college now. i slept in carmen's dorm on the floor. we watched mean girls and alex bought me ice cream to make up for the bet we had (see below) but it melted because someone put it in the fridge instead of the freezer so it was melted phish food.

OK, so the bet alex and i made, was like 2 years ago when i was taking health and they were screaming DRUGS ARE BAD at me. so i made a deal with alex that the first person to smoke pot would take the other out for ice cream. and he remembered. he told me that he tried to light a pipe from the wrong end.

on a different note, i have been working all day (go me!) coline came over and we screamed and swore at my computer and listened to franz ferdinand. 5 days until the concert! yipee!

feelin' good, except for the fact that i downloaded this thing for a capella, finale notepad, and it doesn't work. the fonts are fucked up. graah. school tomorrow, but none thursday! thank you, yom kippur.

6:11pm: there's no sugar!
i learned how to do the bass thing in beatboxing today! i will be a master yet.

i'm semi-proud of myself about homework. guac solo auditions are tomorrow night (earroareeogoorrog!) so i will have NO time. so im getting ahead on my homework situation (pats self on back). aah.

eeh. nothing really interesting. its sad when i want to repeat myself on lj. whatev, man. i love lots.

12:36pm: only seek where it may be found...
lhs concert last night. i had the best time, after emergency exit stopped playing. then i started really rocking out. coline and sienna joined after a couple songs. it was so awesome. moonshine was freaking amazing. i was so happy. so so SO happy. but i have a bangover (new word-refers to the aching in one's neck and back after a night of severe headbanging) and have so much history studying to do.

im going to send that care package to alex today (shh! its a secret!) and i hope he likes it. i got him starburst, halloween boxers, and "celebrity living", among other things. i miss him so much. speaking of which...parents weekend is next weekend! my whole family is going down to yale to se alex. but i might see DARA!!!! aah that would be so fantastic. fanbloodytastic. (<-- stolen word).

have to get back to homework. i love you.

8:53pm: whatever, man.
huit et huit ne font pas seize.

the light outside makes it look like it's snowing.

antoine drove me home from seussical practice today. thats right. on his motorcycle. it was awesome, and i felt awesome, and i was awesome.
seussical is going to be really good. dinner time. i feel better.

1:13pm: im mainly just updating to get rid of that movie quiz.
this week has been shit. my aunt is here. the two previous statements have nothing to do with each other. im so stressed...so much work. im so so soooo exhausted. but i can not wait for saturday! devil in the kitchen concert. the first like major badass concert of the year. i am so excited to go. im dragging coline and sienna along (tee hee). can not wait. can not wait.

i feel like i don't really exist. i haven't really thought about anything important lately. just school work, seussical, school work. parents, boys, clothes, school work, sleep (and how i dont get enough of it). i want to talk to you, i want to think with you.

i want to speak french. my french class is good for me, it is what i should be learning, but i am the only one (i think, maybe except for kathryn) who likes it. i like the grammar, and the poems, and the songs. i want a different class. (what i really want is sainte anne class).

what do i want?
what do i NEED?
when will it be different?

3:21pm: i am psyched i am so going to beast this. thanks, kathryn
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
() The Mexican
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x ) Garden State
(x) The Princess Bride
() Young Frankenstien
() Anchor Man
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Saw
() White Noise
(x) White Oleander
() Anger Management
Total here: 7

(x) 50 First Dates
() Jason X
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
Total here: 6

() The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
() Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) 13 Ghosts
() Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
() I Robot
(x) Dodgeball
() Universal Soldier
(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came A Spider
() Deep Impact
Total here: 8

() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
(x) A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
(x) Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Seven (SE7EN)
(x) Oceans Eleven
(x) Oceans Twelve
() Identity
Total here: 15

() Lone Star
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
() Independence day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
() Frailty
() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
Total here: 5

( ) Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) X-men 1
(x) X-men 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
() The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
() Ring of Fire
(x) The Hot Chick
() Swimfan
() Miracle
(x) Old School
() Ray
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
Total here: 8

(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Boogeyman
(x) Hitch
() Back Door Sluts 9
() Anal Acres 1
() Anal Acres 2
() B-Cup Divas
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi
() Troop Beverly Hills
() Swimming with Sharks
() Air Force One
() For Richer or Poorer
() Trainspotting
() People Under the Stairs
() Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap (both)
() The Burbs
() The Terminator
(x) Empire Records
() SLC Punk
() Meet Joe Black
() Wild girls
() A Clockwork Orange
() The Order
(x) Spiderman
(x) Spiderman 2
(x) Amelie
Total here: 18

() Mean Girls
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) The Incredibles
() Collateral
() The Fast & The Furious
() 2 Fast 2 Furious
(x) Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
() Closer
Total here:4

(x) Titanic
() Saved
(x) Bowling For Columbine
(x) Farenheit 9/11
(x) The Sixth Sense
() Artificial intelligence (AI)
(x) Love Actually
() Shutter
() Ella Enchanted
(x) Princess Diaries
() Princess Diaries 2
() Constantine
() Million Dollar Baby
(x) Envy
(x) Eurotrip
() Malibu's Most wanted
() Big Daddy
() Black Sheep
() The Breakfast Club
(x) West Side Story
Total here: 9

(x) A Christmas Story
(x) Spanglish
() Pulp Fiction
() Sleepover
() The Evil Dead
() Killer Klowns From Outer Space*
() Seed of Chucky
() Vanilla Sky
(x) The Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
() Interview With The Vampire
() The Crow
() Purple Rain
() Reservoir Dogs
() Wayne's World
Total here: 4

() Wayne's World 2
() 21 Grams
() Blow
(x) Edward Scissorhands
() Clerks
(x) Beauty and the Beast
() Guess Who
() Monster In-Law
() Elf
(x) Stuart Little
() Stuart Little 2
() Mall Rats
() Chasing Amy
() Dogma
() Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Total here: 3

(x) Beetlejuice
(x) The Last Samurai
() The Amityville Horror
() The Aviator
(x) Romeo + Juliet
(x) Barbershop
() Beauty Shop
(x) Legally Blonde
() Legally Blonde 2
() The Forgotten
(x) Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen
() The Grudge
Total: 6

Grand Total: 93

11:59am: saw alex last night. it was so great to see him. i miss him so much, and i will never ever live with him again.

met his girlfriend. she is SO nice. her name is carmen and she debates and has glasses. you can tell they spend a lot of time together and they are absolutely adorable.

im really tired and am going to be spending all day in harvard square. where am i going to get the money? who knows! i am unbelievably broke/in debt. i will not get allowance until december, and owe mom and dad something like 70 dollars. and i still need money to spend. AAH. i need money.

i feel like poop. i told my dad about my 67 on that bio test = blechgarg. so now i need to do amazingly well on everything else in my life. shit. this sucks.

i sang on my own from les mis this morning in my singing lesson (well, i more like croaked it because im sick). its such a pretty song...i think someone sang it in french at st. a. larme larme.

6:29pm: GUAC GUAC GUAC DO THE GUACAMOLE DANCE!
thanks to you guys' comments on the previous entry, i love love love love you all. (one love for each person!)

I GOT INTO GUACAMOLE! for those who don't know, thats the most FREAKIN' AWESOME *ALL GIRL* a capella group at LHS. im psyched beyond words about being in it. you have no clue. AAHHAHA FALL JAM.

sienna's birthday was wednesday and i baked her brownies and made her a belt. i think she liked them (mainly because I like them). seussical practices have been this week. im so excited for the show. i think its going to be amazing, especially with antoine as the cat (hahahahahhahahahahahahahah).

im seeing ALEX today! he is at BU judging a debate tournament with his girlfriend (is it a girl friend or a girlfriend? quelle mystère!) but he is taking time out to have dinner with me and the 'rents at sweet chili (THAI FOOD AND MY BROTHER = PERFECTION). sigh. its all good.

10:01pm: i have so much to say. but i dont want to say it. october 1st = everything in my life happening at the same time. i cant do this anymore. ME ME ME. why can't i be not like me? why do i have to be like this? why do i have to say this? why can't i stop? why can't ;alkwgja[osweighi i hate this. i hate saying that i hate this. why can't i ever be happy? <-- satisfaction. fuck. its just everything leads me to that, and how im not happy because i will NEVER BE happy.

saw mr. housiaux today. i love him. so warm. and loving.



im beginning to forget what h e looks like



i need a marion hug. no one can hug like she can. or an anya hug. no one can hug like she can.
stop.

1:55pm: two four six eight show us how you fornicate
whats a radio picture? its a picture of a radio.

bobbie's fete last night. what a time. we went to see rocky horror in harvard square. it was so amazing...like nothing imaginable. just. so. awesome. there were actors doing the whole movie and they knew every line and the EXACT motions of the characters on screen. we threw rice everywhere...there is still some in my sweater. in conclusion, im exhausted and need to start my homework.

9:20pm: I'm feeling so much right now. i can't describe it, just, confused. and lost. its just a constant whirlwind of emotions, pressure after pressure. so many wants and needs. so many wishes.
is this what it's like? tell me there is more. tell me there is less.
over-stimulation.
or maybe thats being a teenager. i hate that word; so many stereotypes. moodiness, selfishness, crabbiness. but we all fit the stereotype. we are all moody, selfish, and crabby. just not for the reasons you think. not for the reasons you think.

6:53pm: this pizza sucks? yes. callbacks went well? yes. tired? yes. homework? yes. poetic? no. tomorrow. yes. - missing sainte anne? more every day.

3:09pm: thats what i like about you....
bonne fete a bobbie.

really good day. maybe it's just me. really good day. but i dont want to talk about today. i want to talk about yesterday.

ok, so yesterday was pretty bad. bio test was awful. dont wanna talk about it. then i practiced for seussical auditions with allie and adeena (sp?). NEW FRIENDS. then the auditions were ok...i think my monologue was good but my singing was N O T. but it was ok. then i came home, did all my homework. went to bed early (pat on back).

ok. back to today.
classes were ok. had the essay test on 1984. i think i did really well, then bobbie gave me a ride home. ack, im nervous about tomorrow. rawr. i don't want to think about it. OOH on demand weeds. i love that show. i watch it with my dad. good stuff good stuff. little homework, have the afternoon to myself. dont want to do much. i need the relaxtime. new word. the end.

9:35pm: amayyyyzing mayyyyzie
school...its so wierd how its so easy to get back in the swing of things. seussical auditions mon-tues. i was iffie at first, now i want to be in it. alot. im trying out for gertrude. i think i sing the best on her songs, rather than like the sour kangaroo or the bird girls. whatever. a lot of homework. i still need to think up a voice for mayzie. meh. im going to go "read actively" for history. yes.

4:32pm: thank you, blake.
1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )

9:54pm: blech
i need a shower. school the day after tomorrow, still have bio corrections and a book and a half to read. i don't have anything else to say, these past few days its been just BIO, and i think i will ddddsoknccccczoklsikkekxmcz.

3:22pm: im really freaking out about school. when am i going to finish my bio work? i still have so much to do. and i have TWO books to read. im so scared. i have so much STUFF going on right now. i have to do my bio, read 1984, read year of wonders, clean my room, babysitting job, singing lessons, worry about seussical, worry about a capella auditions, worry about returning that corduroy jacket, SO MUCH. i know that everyone else has this much shit, but its just. rehcch. it was like, yesterday was summer, no responsibilities. now. ack. and thursday, school! then no more summer. its over. summer is over. summer is over.

5:54pm: happy fucking september.
i really don't want to be like that...all FUCK YOU WORLD. but really. september? what the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?